We all do annoying things that perhaps we aren’t aware of. We can’t always watch ourselves, or receive feedback from those who are around us regularly, so being self-aware is important. A man creates his own reputation and record for himself, so attention to conduct and character is imperative.
You want your word of mouth to be positive. You want to be known as a man of integrity and high quality – a ‘good guy‘. Or perhaps a strong guy, an interesting guy – whatever reputation you want, you are responsible for building it daily.
To give yourself the best chance with a date, peruse this list to make sure they don’t sound too familiar to you. If they do, you might consider making some changes, or being more aware of your behavior and your impression on others. Not to be self-obsessed or self-conscious, just aware.
- Starting a text conversation, then not responding for hours. Ok, you started it! If you’re going to text a girl to see how she is, answer straight away when she lets you know she’s ok. Otherwise, what’s the point? Your date will think you’re playing some sort of mind game, or you’ll come across as easily distracted and not attentive. Or worse, she’ll think you were only contacting her to catch up, but something better came along! If she is to be made to feel special, then she should be your priority. This is why dealing with an introduction agency can be helpful – if you are booking an elite escort or a romantic date with a beautiful woman, you can take your time responding, and just show up on the night, with no worries about making a bad impression communication-wise!
- Leaving a poor tip. Depending in which country you are, tipping can be quite important. It’s always a nice gesture, but in the USA for example, it is an understood expectation, as the employee wages are so low. If you’re trying really hard to impress your date, then leave a generous tip at an elegant restaurant. If you leave the minimum, or worse, nothing, she’ll think you can’t afford it and shouldn’t be there anyway. Or worse, that you’re just miserly. Nobody likes a cheap person, and she will imagine your miserly nature will extend to her on future dates also. Biologically, she is compelled to seek out someone who can support her and her offspring – even on casual dates, this biological compulsion exists. She is not going to waste her precious fertile years on someone who is far from her ideal. It’s not about gold digging, it’s about finding a provider, whether for the evening or for a lifetime. It is her biological urge, one she is often unaware of. To avoid her disapproval, show you have enough to provide, and are not cheap. You don’t need to be silly or extravagant, just don’t cut corners.
- Staring at the other girls. Seriously, this is common sense and any attempt to ignore this is absolutely romantic suicide. The world is full of beautiful girls, they will always be there for you to look at and enjoy, in many different forms. But just for tonight, while you are with a beautiful girl already, there should be only one! It is extremely rude and offensive to look at or flirt with other women, when you are with a date. Your date is your priority for the evening, and a well-bred gentleman knows that. He is confident, not desperate or sleazy. He knows there will always be more beautiful women – more are born every day! But at some point one has to behave with some mature minded dignity.. By looking at other girls, you’ll appear uninterested in her or make her feel second best. Either way, it is deeply disrespectful, and there is unlikely to be another date. Be a gentleman and treat her well.
- Checking your phone. Don’t, just don’t! The world will survive without you for one evening. Although we are all tech-oriented these days, and constant communication seems to be required for the newer generations, being attached to your phone while talking with her is rude and inconsiderate. Give her all of your attention and listen to what she has to say, without exception. If she puts her phone out on the table and seems open to tech-involvement, that is her choice – we all have our standards in social etiquette. But there is nothing more embarrassing and amusing, than to see two (or more) people sitting together, and instead of using that time to talk to each other, they are all on their phones seeking the next distraction! Unless it is a business call that is worth millions of dollars, avoid taking calls – even if that is the case, don’t bark your conversation out in public. Go to the bathroom at least to take care of your personal issues, then return to her. It’s only proper
- Being rude to staff. You might be really important in your world and demanding tantrums might get the job done, but don’t embarrass your date by clicking your fingers at restaurant staff or being horrible to them. This won’t impress her, she will find you rude, arrogant, offensive and jerky. She’s looking for the good, kind man she thinks she’s on a date with, not a rude, arrogant jerk. Everyone knows the measure of a man is how he treats those who are socially below him. (As if any of us are ‘above’ or ‘below’ another – Don’t judge others just because they sin differently to you… ) So they way you treat those who are in service to you, says a lot about your breeding, humility, integrity and heart. Only good men can get/ keep a good woman, so think carefully about your behavior, and keep your ego in check. A man who needs to put others down to make himself feel validated is a damaged person with low self-esteem. Think about it.
- Expecting too much on a first date. You’re either a gentleman or you’re not. It’s a very simple categorization. And only gentlemen are in demand. Read the signals from your date when you give her a gentle kiss goodnight, don’t dive on her! If she likes you, she will let you know and respond. But don’t assume she’ll be around for breakfast in the morning! Your job is to be gentlemanly enough that she wants to be closer to you, and the natural flow of interaction between two mature, consenting adults will unfold. Consenting being the operative word. If she does choose to share herself with you – yes it is a choice, and a generous one – then behave with respect and integrity. Don’t kiss and tell or call her names like a high school child.Women look at intimacy very differently to men. While a man might think she is ‘easy’ or throwing herself away on some random loser (a perfect insight into his own psyche and self-esteem..), she actually likes and trusts him. Sharing herself with you is a way for her to feel close to you, to extend the beautiful connection she feels with you. When you disparage that, you destroy the beautiful thing she was trying to create. Big mistake. It’s true, a little modesty goes a long way for a lady, but just because she allows herself to indulge in a beautiful experience with you, doesn’t make her a bad person – and it doesn’t mean she does that with everyone either. A man of quality appreciates her gift to him, and keeps her honor and privacy intact, as any well bred gentleman does.
If you want to build a quality reputation and word of mouth among the ladies, or you want to keep your woman/ be able to meet your date again, it is strongly suggested that you avoid the above behavioral faux pas with a wide berth! It’s common knowledge that ethics and integrity are measured by what you do when you think nobody is watching… Conduct yourself with high quality at all times, and you’ll never have to worry about making a faux pas, or embarrassing yourself. And you might actually then have the skills to keep a good woman, too. ;)